paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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