it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
