My sheets look like a crime scene.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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