I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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