I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
