Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
