Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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