It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she told me i tasted like america
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Oh god it's open bar.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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