i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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