So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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