he shaved USA in his pubs
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
