You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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