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can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
