i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
