maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
my sisters under your porch take her home
please come you make the beer taste better
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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