i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
