Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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