girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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