is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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