In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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