If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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