It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
