My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
