Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
