I just cut my nipple shaving
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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