its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
