i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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