it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
