He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Randomize