Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
