I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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