so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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