he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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