what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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