you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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