is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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