fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
