went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
