He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
