im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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