Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
