did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
