Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
