I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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