If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
