That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
