I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize