Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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