I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
