I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I didn't notice because vodka
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
