College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
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