I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
