the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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