Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
