Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
