you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
