I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
