I heard we made out
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
