you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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