I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Randomize
