I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize