Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
