Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
