Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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